2009, that is. Cause the first 10 minutes or so SUCKED ASS. The sucking actually started at about T-minus 12 seconds, when I realized I’d lost an entire dimmer pack (one of three), meaning I was out the left blinder and both green and yellow color can lights.
I should add here that the band I run lights for, Left On Sunset, was playing a show at the Brookfield Sheraton hotel in their Grand Ballroom, a gig that, for the past 6 years, was played by the Boogie Men.
T-minus 11 seconds: brain went to naughty words and trying to gather all possible causes for the loss of an entire dimmer pack: (1) blew a breaker (2) blew a fuse in the dimmer pack (3) loose cable. Then it was T-minus 10, and my plan for the countdown was shot out the window with four of my ten color cans being out. I can’t remember what I did, but it was probably some sort of flashing junk to make it look acceptable.
More pre-midnight backstory: Melinda decided that (somewhat correctly, but not very conveniently) that I MUST make out with her AT midnight. I explained at least three times that I had too many things to concentrate on (lights, fog, balloon drop, etc) to have time for that. Did she listen? No. ‘Course not. Also need to add that, at this show, I was forced to use THREE separate light boards – one for front lights, one for the back color cans, and one for all the moving lights. The balloon drop: 20-odd feet long, about 2-3 feet in diameter, we figured about 250 balloons, and at least 4 hours to fill the balloons, load them into the net, and hang it from the ceiling. Each end is zip-tied shut, and the bottom is stiched together with fishing line that can be pulled at the correct time (and not a SECOND before) to release the balloons. The line wasn’t long enough, so we got another spool of fishing line to tie on and make it long enough to reach my post. My instructions from the band were to NOT pull the balloons at midnight when they started playing Auld Lang Syne, or even when they started the next song, 99 Red Balloons. Find the song, listen to it. About a minute into the song, after the first breakdown, the song really kicks in and starts pumping. THAT’s when I needed to release the balloons. I spent 10 minutes at Jeff’s (the drummer) house going through that song specifically so I knew when to pull.
T-plus 2 seconds: walked over to Melinda (who was right behind me) yelled (cause it was already loud in there), “I just lost a third of my lights. Happy New Year,” and kissed her. Turned back to my work only to see FOUR PEOPLE HOLDING THE LINE FOR THE BALLOON DROP. Once it was loaded, the only person allowed to touch it was me, and only when I was ready to pull. I can’t count how many times I yelled at the top of my lungs at these drunk bastards (including one of the technical managers for the hotel) to NOT PULL THE F*#%ING LINE! Meanwhile, the band was staring up at their end looking worried that it might drop too early. I had other waitstaff and audience members behind me telling me to pull, and I had Melinda yelling at me that the band was motioning me to pull (which I found out later they weren’t). I musta pissed off about 15 people in those few minutes, but I finally got them off my ass and away from the line. As the band was finishing with Auld Lang Syne, I had to change the lights up a bit, but I was still holding the line that I had just gotten away from the horde. The tech manager was still standing there, looking fairly pissed off, and I said/yelled, “HOLD THIS RIGHT F*#%ING HERE! DON’T F*#%ING MOVE IT, DON’T F*#%ING PULL IT, DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE F*#%ING PULL IT!” and handed him the line. He thankfully listened. I fixed up the lights as best I could, then returned my attention to the line. I grabbed it from him, pulled the line taut, and when the band hit the right note of 99 Red Balloons, I pulled. Man, I pulled like there was no tomorrow. The balloons dropped, and for a few scant seconds, everything slowed down. It was amazing. Literally over a hundred people crammed on the dance floor, arms up, cheering, getting covered in balloons. To borrow a word from my friend Matt, it was absolutely stunning. And just like that, the joy ended when that tech manager walked around behind the table with the look in his face that he was going to punch out a few of my teeth. He didn’t, but he did leave me a few choice words of his own. I turned back to my table and realized that in the process of pulling the line out, it knocked over a small plastic cup of champagne all over one of my light boards and Andy’s laptop that we’d been using to play music between sets. Picked up the light board first, turned it over, shook it, and set it back down, still working, thank Jesus. Picked up Andy’s laptop (a 2+ year old Macbook Pro I convinced him to buy) while holding the power button with my thumb to force it off while letting it drain. I handed it to Melinda with instructions to take it somewhere and dry it off, then told one of the sound guys from Badger Sound to get me paper towels for my board and the table.
Side note: in reliving this to type this entry, I’ve become so re-furious I’m literally shaking.
He finally got back with the paper towels, and I dried off what I could. Whatever the next song was (wasn’t paying attention), I ran up to the stage, pretty much knocking over anyone in my way, to diagnose my dead dimmer pack. Thankfully, it was simple – power cord pulled out somehow. Plugged it back in, and it fired right up. Problem 1 solved.
Problem 2: all the people I pissed off, most importantly Melinda. Never found the tech manager, but I did flag down the guy that hired LOS, Adam. (Using his name because he was really cool about the whole night, and really liked the band and our production.) I gave a somewhat-inebriated Adam the Cliff’s Notes version concerning the tech manager, and he said not to worry about it because it looked great and made all kinds of sense in how it was [eventually] executed. That helped. I didn’t (and still don’t) want to be the reason LOS isn’t invited back next year. As for how angry at me Melinda was, we straightened that out as amicably as a married couple can.
Problem 3: Champagne-ified light board and laptop. With the laptop off, there was no way to play music after the end of the third (and final) set, but thankfully the band left me a few CDs that they’ve used in the past. Handed one to the sound guy with instructions. 3a solved. With nothing else available, I spit-cleaned any sticky areas of the light board. I don’t know if any liquid got inside (which I expect it did, around the buttons and sliders and stuff), but the board continued to work without issue the rest of the night. 3b solved-ish. Andy’s laptop: all I can say is that I turned it off as quickly as possible. This morning, he said he was able to turn it on and use it, so it might be alright. I don’t think any liquid got to the keyboard area or onto the trackpad, so I think it’s just some sticky areas on the case and spots left on the screen and keyboard that he’ll need to clean up. 3c solved-ish as well.
When the show was completely done and over with, we (four band members + me) unanimously agreed that this was the best show ever for the band. With confirmed attendance over 300 (still waiting on the exact numbers), it’s the largest crowd LOS has ever played to as the headlining band. We had every age group in attendance represented on the dance floor, from 21 to 71 (and maybe older). The guys played Shout (Bon Jovi style, without Bad Medicine tho) and Jump Around (with sequenced-in high-pitched screech), neither of which they’d played before to a crowd (maybe shout, but I don’t think so), and both completely owned the entire room. It was beyond amazing. Every single song was a hit, from Every Rose (has a Thorn) to Crazy Bitch, from Save a Horse to My Own Worst Enemy.
My right knee kills, my voice is screwed (probably from F-bombing so much), and my throat feels like 2-grit sandpaper (yes, two). (To be fair, I’ve had a cold since Sunday night, so the drainage isn’t helping at all.) I made over twice what the band usually pays me, they bought me a room package deal so I could just sleep at the hotel after the show, and I made another $15 from a drunk guy who wanted me to add a couple songs to the between-set music playlists. Listening to the band talk today during cleanup, it’s obvious they have a ton more confidence now after last night’s show.
Here’s to hoping the rest of 2009 is better than the first 10 minutes.
…you know, I never did get any of that champagne.
ross mindless prattling, rant-o-matic
